The Poem

September 1, 2015

I couldn't be happier for little Miss Ezra, free and joyous. But I can't seem to find happiness for myself, since I am now only a bereaved mother, who has been robbed of her only child. It seems easy to be happy for someone who is in Heaven having the time of her life. But much more difficult for the woman who was left here mourning the absence of her little bundle of joy.

On this day I got a letter in the mail that would help me overcome these thoughts. A few words to help me learn to be happy for myself as well.

Borrowed Gems

I'll lend you for a little while

A child of mine, He said,

For you to love while he lives,

And mourn for when he's dead

It may be six or seven years,

Or twenty-two or thirty,

But will you till I call him back

Take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charm to gladden you,

And shall his stay be brief,

You'll have his lovely memories

As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay

Since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught down there

I want this child to learn.

I've looked the whole world over

In my search for teachers true,

And from the throng that crowds life's lanes

I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love

Nor think the labor vain,

Nor hate Me when I come to call

To take him back again?

I fancied that I heard you say,

"Dear Lord, thy will be done,"

For all the joy the child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness

We'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known

Forever grateful we'll stay.

But shall the angels call for him

Much sooner than we planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes

And try to understand.

Then I had realized that when God was up in the heavens making the most perfect daughter, He was also searching for the perfect mother suit to take care of her. Of all the people on this Earth, and all the people yet to be made, my Father chose me, to play with her, to teach her, to tender to her and to love her. How fortunate am I? I have chosen now to be happy for myself. With the tools God has given me I am able to do so. Even though the heartbreak is often something fierce, I can always find the silver lining knowing that God loves me enough to give me the most precious gift of a beautiful daughter, even if only 22 months.

Rejoice! 

1 Peter 5:6-7  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

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