August 22nd 2014
"Ezra is not
Breathing."
I drove home from
the Tri-Cities praying harder than ever.
My only baby girl,
at 22 months, could be dead, could be fighting for her life. I have no
information at his time, no one knows anything, only that they found her not
breathing.
"Her name is
Ezra Renee Wilson and she lives!" I prayed over and over, the same prayer
my father prayed over me in the womb when mom was having difficulties with me.
Those prayers were
not answered, not in the way I would have liked them anyway.
I left the hospital
later that morning I was sure that there could be no God. No God who loves me
anyway. The most horrible pain someone could endure.
The murder of their only child.
I could only think
"take me instead." I was undoubtedly going to take my life when I got
home, as soon as everyone left. The darkest trench anyone could travel to.
I no
longer had purpose, I no longer want purpose.
I thought, if somehow I made it
through this I would be trekking my way, dragging my feet through alleys of
despair forever.
In the midst of the most grim thoughts I heard a voice speak
to me. "Naomi if you lose your faith you lose everything. Yourself, your
peace, and your daughter."
I felt an uneasy
sense of peace.
This is day one of
my journey without my daughter, but in total faith of the Lord, Please check
out my page to see further stories of what Faith can do!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths!
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