Forgiveness

I have hesitated talking about this topic for a few months now, with the disagreement of the world behind me.  For apparently Sin is rated on a scale of bad to worst, and only the bad ones are forgiven.

Some people don't practice forgiveness whatsoever. Others do but think that forgiveness is only acceptable for certain people and certain things.  The other certain people and things are left in a category of unforgivable. Even in the Christian world, There are a few "Unforgivable Sins." which makes this topic so controversy and hard to talk about.  But there is ONE here who has showed me otherwise, ONE who stands behind me and he is here with me now telling me to write this. So here we go.

Hate the SIN not the SINNER

This world wanders around far too much and far too long with anger and hate in their hearts. People and the things that people do are often looked at as "unforgivable"

Now I have struggled with forgiveness and let me be the first say,  to not forgive is an ugly thing. While we are busy holding this frustration against people we are doing real harm to ourselves. We become captives to hate, A murderous spirit.

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Most of my readers know my story, for those who don't here is a quick overview.

Ezra Rene'e My only child my beautiful baby girl. She lived to be 22 months. Her father in I separated in December of 2013. He had started seeing another woman (For the sake of this message we will call her Angela.) Now Angela had become close to our family, she had come in as the "step- mother" in a sort, taking care of Ezra. And becoming my friend, or so I thought.

August 22, 2014  11:47pm "Ezra's not breathing"

The message set to my phone.

I had a long drive to the hospital, three hours. In that time no one knew if she was okay or not. Was she alive? Severely injured? Dead? The longest most fearful drive of my life. I prayed, and I had prayed In a way I never had before. Somewhere about halfway through the drive to the hospital HE spoke.

HE said "She is gone, I have her, And I want you to forgive Angela now." In tears and with a silent gasp I mustered a very uneasy but trusting "Okay"

We finally got to the hospital where three hours after my arrival they gave us the news that would turn my world upside down forever.

"She didn’t make it"

Three months after her death Angela was arrested for murder in the 1st degree.

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WARRIOR!

Going through some of my old journal entries today and I

 stumble upon this. What amazes me here is that there are 

so many people out there who fall in the "victim" category. 

What I don't think they see is that they put themselves there.

 In fact we are not really victims at all! We are warriors! And 

even though there are bumps and bruises along the way, it's 

all part of perfect design to make us stronger! So today I 

encourage everyone allow yourself to stand up straight and 

take off those chains YOU are no longer a victim YOU are a 

warrior!!

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God's Court

Psalms 82:1

God takes His stand in His own congregation; He judges in the midst of the rulers.

In the last few months a lot has happened. The woman who murdered Ezra has gone to jail, We have gone to court a few times. She is now out of jail and on house arrest. 

The last court date we had was February 24 and it was the hardest yet. We held a preliminary trial, which is where the Judge decides if there is enough evidence to take her to court and charge her with first degree murder. A lot of details were brought out during this trial including details of the autopsy. It was horrifying.

 I could no longer sit in this chair watching the woman who did this to my child, listen so intensely to the graphic details of what she had done. I started to pray, I felt peace, And I was covered. 

And God spoke,

"Naomi, There is a far greater court going on right now, Ezra will get her justice in Heaven."

How relieving it was to hear that! I spend a good amount of time before court worried that this woman will get off without any charges, that my family will never see justice for this death. 

But my Lord comforts me through it all allowing me to be at peace knowing that it is all in his hands. 

This woman may be out running around right now, and even though I can not see it, This trial is in God's court, and she will have to face the ultimate Judge. 

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She Lives!

August 29, 2015

Ezra's Flower

We had a celebration of life ceremony for Ezra. It was short, simple, and sweet just like her. At our church, Pastor spoke a prayer, Grandma sang a song, and I shared a short story of my last day with Ezra, Which I would like to now share with you.

"The morning of her passing we went for a hike behind our home. She was showing me her little "weed" that she picked. She carried it the whole time, examining it, and loving it. Holding moms had she showed it to me one more time, I had told her it was a weed, She said "No mommy, flower."

What beauty!

I have held this moment so close. It was at that time I seen the perfect innocence of a child's mind, the delightful beauty of their spirit, and the genuine sincerity of love in their heart.

My heart is glad and I can only be grateful that she has taken these traits with her. Her innocence will never be corrupted by the world, Her name is Ezra Rene'e Wilson and she lives! In the kingdom of heaven and in our hearts! Enjoy Heaven Roni and remember Mommy loves you best!"

Ezra's Sunset

We then released balloons into the sky that we had all written our farewell wishes on them. Mine said "Mommy loves you best." We invited everyone inside for cake but most people gathered outside to watch the most beautiful sunset the Lord made for Ezra.

Rejoice!

"Oh no you never let go, through the calm and through the storm. Oh no you never let go, every high and every low. Oh no you never let go Lord you never let go of me!"

Ezra's Balloons

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