God's Court

Psalms 82:1

God takes His stand in His own congregation; He judges in the midst of the rulers.

In the last few months a lot has happened. The woman who murdered Ezra has gone to jail, We have gone to court a few times. She is now out of jail and on house arrest. 

The last court date we had was February 24 and it was the hardest yet. We held a preliminary trial, which is where the Judge decides if there is enough evidence to take her to court and charge her with first degree murder. A lot of details were brought out during this trial including details of the autopsy. It was horrifying.

 I could no longer sit in this chair watching the woman who did this to my child, listen so intensely to the graphic details of what she had done. I started to pray, I felt peace, And I was covered. 

And God spoke,

"Naomi, There is a far greater court going on right now, Ezra will get her justice in Heaven."

How relieving it was to hear that! I spend a good amount of time before court worried that this woman will get off without any charges, that my family will never see justice for this death. 

But my Lord comforts me through it all allowing me to be at peace knowing that it is all in his hands. 

This woman may be out running around right now, and even though I can not see it, This trial is in God's court, and she will have to face the ultimate Judge. 

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Running from God

About five months into my pregnancy with Ezra I had started bleeding, Immediately I went to the healing rooms at my local church. There they started praying over the baby and myself. One of the women asked me "Have you given this child to God?" I shook my head no.

I had been following God for a few years at this point, But this, this was different. It felt dangerous to me, out of my comfort zone. I felt as though if I gave her to God he would take her from me.

I struggled with this for a while.

God had been telling me that he wants me to give Ezra to him, in a spiritual sense of course. She was six months old by now and I was still keeping up the fight with Him. On a Sunday morning, (the same day of my story, Sparkle) I went up to the alter. I had finally given up the internal fight with God, and I placed my daughter in his hands.

After her passing,  I often found myself angry at God. "If I had not given her to you, you would have not taken her from me!"

One woman asked me, "Naomi, how would you feel right now if you had not given her to God?"

…..Well I didn't stop to think about that one!

No longer am I angry at God, in fact I am so happy that he pushed me and pushed me to give her to him. He had a bigger plan going on that day.

Many times in my life I have ran from God. Fear of loosing my child kept me from doing what God had asked. If I kept up the selfish fight with God I believe I would be struck with much more grief.

God has a plot unfolding here, and He has given me a choice. Every moment of everyday I have to make the choice to succeed or to fail. To follow him or to follow myself. And today I choose to succeed, I choose to do what it is he asks of me no matter how difficult it may be. Without him I would fail, so why choose otherwise?

What I am getting at here is that no matter how scary it may be to choose God's plan over our own, no matter how difficult the path may be. God's way is the right way! 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

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